No More Pictures of Lucy for a Spell

On your mark. Ready. Get set. GO! First tooth extraction this morning. Only six more months of oral abuse to a perfect smile. However, after seeing blogs that publish explicit photos and unsavory details of medical procedures I've decided not to keep you posted. Hold the applause.

I want to apologize to everyone for not wishing you all a very happy Thanksgiving---On time, I mean. I wanted to do it at the right time but I have an excuse---sort of. I was all alone. By myself. Just me. My computer knows these things and waits until I'm all by my lone to be sick. Actually, I'm not sure it was my computer, Blogger, or me but I couldn't post anything. Normally I call Jack or Carole to fix things but they'd gone to FaRRRgo to spend the holiday with Carole's mother and family.

Of course I was invited---I always am, but the I opted to stay here with Auntie Sue and the animals. (By "here" I mean in the same town. Not, GD forbid in the same house.) Both Auntie Sue and I would rather be in hell or KMart than brave holiday travel. In any case, my computer and I were alone together most of the time. My computer knows this, of course and exploits the advantage. I feel even less empowered than ever when it does this---I also notice my arm and hand hurting more than usual!

So there you have it; all my rationalizations and excuses. But Happy Thanksgiving anyway. Jack and Carole are coming home tonight and I'm praying I can post this before they get here to maximize their guilt. An old woman, alone, in pain, with a diabolical machine lurking in the shadows. Shame on them!!

The FaRRRgo folks emailed photos yesterday. Carole's mother moved to a nursing home and the kids broke up her apartment over the holiday weekend. As far as I can tell there was no arguing about Clarice's belongings. I'm posting two pictures that seem to indicate the distribution of stuff was most congenial. Carole's family is certifiably crazy but they have a rare capacity for joy and laughter---which I think is reflected in these photos. Almost makes me wish I'd been there---not not quite!

I must rest my frenetic brain and toothless mouth---at least for the moment. I hope you are all well and happy. Talk to you soon!
Much love,
Your lucyd

Back to the Denture

The days have been golden here in the Rockies but something's rotten in Lucy. A few days ago I woke up with one of my lonely molars dangling precariously from my upper jaw. "Lovely," I thought glumly as I jammed it back up there with a blob of Fixodent. However, since the tooth anchored my partial I supposed now I'd have to trudge back into the dentist and submit to Dr. Letha's Dreaded Dental Discipline. This is where she reminds me she told me so. It's true. She did. But I didn't want to be reminded. I just wanted her to fix it---quick and cheap.

Carole had already left for the dog park with Samthegranddog. I called her on her cell to tell her to come home and and take me to the dentist. I wanted the moral support and besides I can't see very well when my teeth are falling out. She was testy when she answered my call.

"Darn it!" she exclaimed. "I just got hemorrhoid cream all over the steering wheel!" (Normally one might wonder how such a thing would be possible---let alone probable. However, I know Carole uses Preparation H on her eyes and hands to tighten up the skin. I just don't understand why she does it in the car.) In any case, annoyed or not, she came home to get me.

Dr. Letha was leaving for the Bahamas the following day but squeezed me in before she left. She wasn't happy. I wasn't either---I hate losing parts. I'd rejected her previous treatment plan on the grounds I'd be dead and broke before it could all be completed. However, with the exception of a bit o' pain and depression I seem to be chugging right along. Besides, I'm pretty sure my mood isn't going to be improved by gaping holes in my smile.

So I've decided to go ahead with the Lucy Dental Improvement Plan. As I may have mentioned, I intend to attend the Blogher convention in Chicago next summer. Now I won't even have to worry about keeping my mouth shut. You've been warned.

Meow, Meow, Meow

I have a great photo of Kitty Litter Cake. Blogger won't post it. But then it could be me. But I doubt it.
your lucyd

OK. I didn't kill Carole---even though she richly deserved it. I'm actually happy she wrote about what goes on here. She says she isn't typing my posts because she thinks I can do it myself and she expects me to do everything I can on my own. I realize she has a point but I think she's being a hard-ass about it. She's afraid I'll use pain and depression as an excuse for getting nonessential help from other people... I just wonder what's wrong with that!

On a positive note, the two of us went to the big Macy's sale today. As we drove we unceasingly yapped and argued---as usual. Suddenly Carole's eyes lit up and she announced we should have our own reality TV show. " Baby Boomers and Parents Meeting Life Head-On." She may have a point. There are reality shows about the most inane things. Reality TV has laid bare every situation but elder/family relations. Looking at my own life I think that could be highly entertaining----and educational. Even inspirational. Depending on your point of view, of course.

Anyway, I had a wonderful afternoon with Carole and Auntie Sue. We shopped til we dropped and I found a new purse and brocade bed comforter---70% off of course! Carole and Jack are going out for movie night. I've promised not to call them on their cell phones---even if I'm certain they're dead in the street. I guess I'll just have to comfort myself with my new comforter!

Best wishes for a wonderful week for all of us. Here is a great recipe I got at Halloween time and forgot to post. What a hoot! And edible too.

KITTY LITTER CAKE

INGREDIENTS:1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix1 box of white cake mix1 package white sandwich cookies1 large package vanilla instant pudding mixA few drops green food coloring12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent
SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS" 1 NEW cat-litter box
1 NEW cat-litter box liner. 1 NEW pooper scoop

1) Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan. Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs. Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside.

2) When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.

3) Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points. Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.

4) Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper. Enjoy!

dor v' dor

This is Golden Lucy's daughter-in-law Carole. I just watched Lucy drive off in Betsy, her 1992 Toyota. I wasn't nervous about it because she's a better driver than I am. I was also happy to see her leave because I knew I'd have to kill her if she didn't. That's a family joke. We always are on the brink of homicide. This time it was over spots on the carpet. I think dust and grime are organic. She thinks they're a mortal sin. We both say we understand each other but deep down we both still think we're right.

However, we're family and somehow we restrain ourselves--- at least temporarily. Lucy has a pile of posts waiting to be typed. Her right arm is toast and she's a horrible typist---it takes her forever to get an article ready for posting. However she can still handwrite. She would like it if I typed all her posts. I won't. I'm too lazy and disorganized and she's much smarter than I am anyway. Let her figure it out.

When she sees this on her blog she'll yell at me as she is very proprietorial about being
Golden Lucy. However I think I need to insert myself in here long enough to tell you all how much blogging has meant to her. Lucy is a brilliant and compassionate mind in a decaying body. In some ways I feel that is a curse----both for us, her family, and for her. On the other hand, I feel incredibly inspired by her unwillingness to go into mental hibernation until she dies.

She'll be getting back from King Soopers in a few minutes and wonder why I haven't set the table for Shabbat. She'll fuss and worry and drive me out of my frigging mind until we light the Shabbos candles. Then everything will be perfect----even if the company comes and there are still spots on the carpet.

We wish all of you a week of peace. Personally I ask (and I know Lucy will agree) that "dor v' dor"---generation to generation---we continue to work for harmony and growth. Shabbat Shalom to all of Lucy's dear friends.

PS: She's written some really great posts. I may get off the couch and type them. But don't hold your breath.

Lucy Sez Hooray!

I was waiting for the final Senate results before posting it's but it's already abundantly clear Americans have chosen a different direction for our government. Personally I'm ecstatic but more than satisfaction I feel overwhelming pride and gratitude to live in a nation where this could happen.

I'm hopeful that a less arrogant, more thoughtful and altruistic tone will now be set in this country. Like many of you I want our boys to come home to their families. I want everyone to have equal access to food, housing, education and quality medical care. As always I pray for peace---and that the sweeping changes yesterday can contribute to that end. As voters we must continue to be vigilant and demanding both of our elected officials and ourselves.

America is unique and precious, as are its citizens---red, blue and other. It's been a long time since I've really felt that kind of pride. But I do today and it feels wonderful.

Much love to all of you from lucy.