Bells for Lucy

Ring the Bells! Light the Lights! Lucy has lived to see another grandchild wed! The family was here at LucyCentral for dinner over the weekend. It's always such a treat to spend time with my kids but Saturday night was special. Aaron and Van have set their wedding date and thus I'm hot on the trail of new dresses, gifts and shower plans.

Aaron is my oldest grandson. His younger brother Ben married the lovely Teresa in July of 2006---a true highlight in my life. However I wondered if Aaron would ever really tie the knot. He's been with Van for 8 years of school and graduate school so it's about time. The wedding is scheduled for June 14th and will be held in the Garden of the Gods at Jack and Carole's home in Manitou Springs. I'm so excited!

As it did with Ben and Teresa, Aaron and Van's marriage brings up many bitter-sweet memories. How different things were for me when I married Grandpa Ben and blindly embarked on a life with a man I didn't really know. Of course I probably knew myself even less so that put us about even.

I was fat, uneducated and poor. As the line from Fiddler on the Roof says: "You're a poor girl from a poor family. You'll take what you can get! Right? Right!" And I did. Ben liked me and wanted to be with me. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't believe I could do better. So we got married. In a Georgia court house in the middle of WWII. No attendants, no dress, no music, no flowers. No gifts or announcements. No romance. We just did it.

Ben was a good man and I still, nearly 30 years after his death, care for and respect all the good things about him. However it's doubtful I ever really loved him in a way my grandchildren take for granted, would warrant marriage. I expect that's true. However, having said that I do believe we are where we're supposed to be. And more than that we have the opportunity and responsibility to make (though sometimes just accept) that given our best efforts, things really do turn out for the best.

Without my marriage to Ben there would be no Jack and Carole and the emotionally satisfying (if not totally placid) life I have with my family now. I believe my grandchildren will make much better informed choices about their mates than I did. But in the end, I now see that it's the truly individual choices we make about ourselves that really matter. And that's something I believe I'll struggle with until the day I die---which hopefully won't be before the wedding. Love to you all.