Golden Lucy's Spiral Journal

Going on 87...Savoring and Surviving the Senior Years

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Lucy is Resolute

The New Year is around the corner. I've got a thought or two based on nearly 85 years of juggling joys and sorrows. Here are some of them:

1. I'm not as wonderful---or awful---as I've ever thought I was. I'm just a part of something much bigger than anything I can imagine. I've always done the best, under the circumstances, I believed I could do. That's a fact. Not an excuse.

2. Looking from the outside in makes things much more appealing than they may actually be. Our physical/material conditions are not nearly as important as our spiritual/emotional state. Unfortunately, for most of my life I didn't understand this. Now I do. Again, a fact---Not an excuse.

3. A person can simultaneously love and hate others. The more I love somebody the more capacity I have for rage and hatred toward them. Thankfully, in most situations I love my people more than I hate them. But no matter, I can choose---and that's a fact relating to my behavior---not an excuse.

4. Nothing and nobody can make up for things I missed in my life. I accept that whatever I've received and achieved will never be enough to make up for what I missed. Therefore I am striving to embrace my life with gratitude---now. And that's just a plain fact. (But it's never easy!)

5. Family is something you create---not something you're born or give birth to. My greatgrandchilden are both "by choice" and will never be more precious to me than my "blood" relatives. I couldn't choose my parents but I can choose my children, grandchildren, greatgrandchildren etc. And I do.

6. I'm so very grateful I've discovered blogging. Nothing could possibly mean as much to me as my blogging friends and the incredibly rich sharing I've enjoyed. I've been a real dud the last few months but none of my buddies let me down. I love you all so much---and you know who you are.

7. I'm not dead yet and so far I don't wish to be. So Happy New Year to me and to all of you. You're such a huge and vital part of my life. I pray you believe and never forget that!