Loving It in the Land of the Living
Lucy has had a tough few weeks but has prevailed over crisis, fear and depression---not all mine, by the bye. (I had to look up the spelling of that expression---kind of a surprise!) In any case, I never stopped needing and loving to read my blogging friends. To explain my posting absence would be a boring recital---especially for me. However, in retrospect it's all been for the best. Growth seldom comes without pain---or at least frustration, provocation and/or aggravation. Preferably not all at the same time.
So many things to reflect on. Where to start? Think I'll start with gratitude. There's a fabulous circle of bloggers that mean the world to me---and I mean that with all my heart. I started to name you but the list was tooo long---such a perfectly lovely fact! But you know who you are----I've previously acknowledged Ronni, Millie, Teri, Chancy and my darling Claude for helping me get on my feet as a blogger. But for those faithful friends who came and came back to encourage me later I send my sincerest and heartfelt gratitude and love. I'll take your loving loyalty with me to great beyond! Of course that goes for my kinfolk as well. ..But most of all to my creator.
After gratitude comes intention. I intend to continue to try to be an independent and positive thinker; a fearless and forgiving friend/relative and probably most functionally important, an old lady with an unfailing sense of humor---especially when it comes to myself. Finally, I accept that intention is not the same as completed action (even though I always pray it is.)
I will let the past remain there. I will try new things. I will stop eating fried food---or cooking it for my family. I will not hide behind the curtains waiting for my 60+ year old children to come home at night. I will try things that scare me and not blame others when I'm still scared. I will be honest about admitting it is time for me to stop driving (when hell freezes over) and I'll continue to have my nails and hair done regularly by Marianne---the best beautician and listener in the West---because I'm worth it.
I'm typing this myself. That is to say, this has taken a good part of what's left of my life to produce five short paragraphs. I'm damn proud of myself. Here are some pictures from the last few weeks that illustrate the balance of joy and sorrow I hope to continue cultivating in my life. I truly love you all.