Golden Lucy's Spiral Journal

Going on 87...Savoring and Surviving the Senior Years

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Tragedy and Reality

I usually enjoy making people laugh but there wasn't much to laugh about today. I'm not talking about world affairs or politics, though Lord knows there's nothing funny about any of that either. Today was a serious, life-and-death day right here at home. Murphy was killed.

True, Murph was "only " a dog but since moving to live with my family I realize something I never understood before. Animals can be just as much part of the family fabric as the human members. Since I never had a pet I didn't grasp that reality. But now I do.

Murph was Auntie Tobi's little white dog. Tobi already owned Lulu, a small white Eskie. When Tobi saw Murphy at the pound she knew she just had to make it a matched pair. Soon everybody at the dog park recognized Tobi and "the girls." But his afternoon Murph lunged into the street and was hit by a motorcycle. She died instantly.

Tobi took it terribly hard. She was adopted herself and both those parents are gone. She is childess and unmarried as well. None of these circumstances are inherently sad or bad and Tobi is a happy, grateful person. However, her pets are truly family to her in every way. And, because she is truly family to us, I share her loss very personally.

This morning Tobi forwarded an email she received from a coworker. I think the message is profound and worth repeating because it's not just about pets. It's about life---all the loving and losing and learning.

"...I am so, so, so sorry that your poor baby died today. But you are not alone. I do understand. I had one beloved dog put down at the end of her life and it still breaks my heart years later. But you know,sometimes I "see" her in the car with me. She rides inthe front seat beside me. She comes when I call her, always. She knows when I need a sympathetic ear and loving eyes gazing at me.

It's never happened to me with any other of my dogs. But that's Greta. Always loving and giving. If you sit quietly in your car after you have settled down a bit, call Murphy to sit beside you. Maybe you will "see"her there as I see my sweet Greta..."

I hope that my loved ones can same the same of me.

29 Comments:

  • At 7:26 AM, Blogger Miss Cellania said…

    Please pass along my sympathies. Murphy was a beautiful dog.

     
  • At 8:54 AM, Blogger Bev Sykes said…

    I'm so sorry for the loss of Murphy. What a beautiful little dog. My son and his wife are having their pug, Yogi, who is 15, put down today, so I understand the family sadness at the loss of this little dog. Hugs for all of you.

     
  • At 12:32 PM, Blogger GUYK said…

    I am sorry. The loss of a pet makes one rethink the "better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all" cliche. I have lost many pets over the years and it never gets any easier. But I would still do it all over again. My little Sassie Poodle is getting on in the years and one of these days the vet will want us to agree that it is her time. But I don't know if I can do it or not. She is a loving little thing and I may just hold her in my arms and try to make her comfortable. I did that with the last one I lost and I like to think that he knew that I was doing my best for him.

     
  • At 5:28 PM, Anonymous Leah said…

    It's never fair when a pet is lost. It's always tragic. And nothing makes you feel better for a long time. My sympathies.

     
  • At 6:55 PM, Blogger bunnygirl said…

    It's sad to lose someone who makes us smile. Poor Murphy!

    One thing that helps me at times like this is to make a donation to a shelter or veterinary school in the pet's name. I figure if I can't save my buddy, I can at least save someone else's.

    If it's appropriate to do so, you might want to suggest something like that to Tobi. It doesn't take away the sadness, but at least it leaves you feeling like you did something good at a time when there really isn't much you can do.

    Peace and condolences to all from me and the critters.

     
  • At 8:07 PM, Blogger Chancy said…

    Lucy, My sympathies ..What a precious little doggie.

     
  • At 8:49 PM, Blogger kenju said…

    That is devoutly to be wished, Lucy. I also "see" an old dog of mine now and then. She seems to be a shadow walking from the living room to the kitchen, and I see "movement" through the house out of the corners of my eyes. I just know it is her. I hope your friend finds comfort soon.

     
  • At 6:07 AM, Blogger Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said…

    Murphy was gorgeous. I know this pain as others have stated. The Rainbow Bridge poem has always been a comfort to me. I am so very sorry.

     
  • At 7:07 AM, Anonymous Terri said…

    I also know this pain of loss with a beloved pet and agree with all the comments here. I can't even think of the possibility that someday my Holly may no longer be with me.
    Murphy was just gorgeous and such a sad, tragic, accident. My sympathy and condolences to Auntie Tobi. May all her wonderful memories of Murph ease her grief.
    And I found it very comforting to know there is a possibility that a beloved pet may linger with us when they've physically left us.

     
  • At 7:44 AM, Anonymous auntietob said…

    Hello everyone- What a wonderful,blessed surprise that "grannylu" gave my Murph such a beautiful eulogy. She was a joy & delight to everyone she met. She never had a bad day. Lulu & I miss her terribly,but I know she'll always be with us in spirit. Bunnygirl- I think I will make a donation in Murphy's name-great idea! Thank you all so much for the kind words & thoughts...from my heart to yours auntietob & Lu

     
  • At 7:51 AM, Anonymous Simply Coll said…

    Poor Murphy, this is so terribly sad. I understand the sadness that comes with the loss of our furkids. The email message is truly profound and I will take the message with me. I too have lost some dear and beloved pets.

     
  • At 8:08 AM, Blogger JunieRose said…

    I have gone through the heartache of losing a pet so many times...it's such a REAL feeling of hurt. People who are not animals lovers can never understand !

    I'm sorry.

    June

     
  • At 11:18 AM, Blogger Buffy said…

    Awww...I'm sorry.

     
  • At 1:45 PM, Blogger Rain said…

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss Murphy. Our pets truly are like our kids and it's so hard to lose one. :(

     
  • At 2:05 PM, Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said…

    What a beaytiful Email! It is so true that our pets are as much family as family. Sometimes more because of the uncondidional love thay give us. I'm terribly sorry for this very painful loss. One can truly keep our pets and our loved ones who have passed on close by if we just can get "quiet" enough...They will be with us forever in our hearts.

     
  • At 2:31 PM, Anonymous claude said…

    So sorry, Lucy, extend my sympathy to Auntie Tobi.
    Love
    Claude

     
  • At 2:44 PM, Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said…

    Hi Lucy..Thanks for your lovely lovely comment on my blog. I'm so glad I found you too. YOU are an inspiration! This loss you wrote about today touches my heart.

    Question: What is MOT? I would answer this but I haven't a clue as to what it is? (lol)

     
  • At 3:39 PM, Blogger Tamar said…

    Oh how terribly sad. I cannot imagine how Tobi must feel. I know that if something should happen to either of my cats I will be very, very sad. Pets are certainly part of the family. Thank you for sharing that beautiful e-mail as well, dear goldenlucyd.

     
  • At 4:26 PM, Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said…

    Well, Lucy...LOL, LOL. The "plot" thickens....I know what MOS is! In "movie" talk, that is sgort for "Mit Out Sound", and that's because the first Director that talkled about no sound was German! So he said: "Mit Out Sound"...Now, what could MOT be??? Ohhhh, Just tell me Lucy....pleeeeeeaaasssseeee...!

     
  • At 7:21 PM, Anonymous momma said…

    Lucy please tell Auntie Tobi that many of us know exactly what she is feeling now. Also Mike is right about 'The Rainbow Bridge' being a comfort. I received this from a very dear friend when one of my pets was put down.

     
  • At 8:23 PM, Blogger Jamie Dawn said…

    Oh, how very sad. What a pretty doggie she was. For some people, their pets are like children to them. My best friend's dogs and cats are her babies. When our old dog, Simba, dies, our family will truly be sad.
    Pets are part of the family for sure.

     
  • At 10:12 PM, Blogger Joy Des Jardins said…

    My sympathy to Auntie Tobi. Murphy was adorable.

     
  • At 6:03 AM, Anonymous Lucy said…

    LucyD - how sad. That condolence email was remarkable - almost seems like the angels were working here. They know when we need some help - don't you think?

     
  • At 7:53 AM, Anonymous Maria said…

    I find the following poem helpful.
    The Rainbow Bridge

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
    There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
    There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
    The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

    Author unknown...

     
  • At 10:08 AM, Anonymous auntietob said…

    THANK YOU ALL- from the very bottom of my mending heart... I never knew that such an outpouring of love could reach someone from so many people and from so many places. Lucy is my "other mother" & I am so deeply thankful for her being in my life. I hope to read all your blogs so I can get to know you better. Lulu & I are on the mend-and with your loving wishes- all the faster--- auntietob

     
  • At 6:02 AM, Anonymous Janice said…

    That is too sad...I once had 2 little Eskimos -- Buffy and Smokey. They were beautiful and special -- very sweet. I know you will miss your Murphy.

     
  • At 8:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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  • At 5:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

  • At 5:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Electronic memory,to me, is something that I seemingly will never have enough of. It's as if megabytes and gigabytes have become an inseparable part of my every day existence. Ever since I bought a Micro SD Card for my NDS flash card, I've been on permanent watch like a prison guard for large memory at cheap prices. It's driving me crazy.

    (Posted from cPost scPost for R4i Nintendo DS.)

     

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