Golden Lucy's Spiral Journal

Going on 87...Savoring and Surviving the Senior Years

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Lucy in Her New Digs

Like the Phoenix, Lucy has risen once again. I'm embarrassed and contrite about my posting absence however I've never left the community. It's taken a month for my "Big Change" but I'm keeping up with all of you.
My last post indicated a big change for me. Well, it's a done deal---which almost done me in as well! I've moved---I'm in my own place now. I love it. I sleep better; the floor is spotless; there's no barking dogs or invading relations. And yet I wait each day for my family to come and see how happy I am. If they don't come then I'm unhappy----As my grandkiddies say, go figure.

Jack and Carole are moving back to their mountaintop aerie in Manitou. There's a corkscrew road and a 14 stone-step climb to the house. It's gorgeous---overlooking both Pike's Peak and the Garden of the Gods. However, if I croak on the way up---who the hell cares? Nope. That's not for me. At least not today.

The deal is that when I can no longer drive and must move into my preprepared "retirement suite" in the hilltop house, my kids will take me anyplace I want to go. But it's most certainly not at the moment. I hate the thought of that. I think that's because I'm terrified my mind will last longer than my body---even though my old bod is doing very well considering my age. However the possibility or GD forbid the probability of such a thing is really terrifying. (At least for the moment.)

I'm on the Net several hours a day. I read about the truly heart-wrenching situations many Baby boomers are in: parents with no financial resources; parents with degrading mental and emotional resources---a polite way for saying, "My Ma/Pa is are losing their marbles." Thank GD I'm quite certain I don't fit into those categories. But this is today and I could have a stroke tonight!

In any case, here I am in my beautiful new apartment in a wonderful seniors-only building. It's completely perfect for me now. My kids come to see me at least once a day and live 10 minutes away. Please believe me. I'm not complaining; I'm sooooo very grateful. I just want to share the frustration I feel about "needing" somebody. I worked for years to make sure nobody had to take care of me. When you've felt completely competent and independent for 60 plus years it's a shock to find you must depend on others---and that they will often do what they damn well want. How dare they! (You do realize that's joke....)

OK. Lucy is over her existential rant. She's happy but she had the flu during the move ---Bleeeccchhh. But now the move is over and I'll be back to my old---and I do mean OLD self next week. I love you all---And this is truly what it's like to get old---when you are lucky and blessed. And I'm off to my library meeting tomorrow.

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